Majestic Guardians
by NicoleSandraAmaral
Summary: Inspired by the surreal style and humour of Adventure Time, comes the surreal world the Kingdom of Dave, where epic things happen and funny shenanigans occur to our three heroes, Elle, Viola and Izzy.
1. Chapter 1: In The Name of Mermaid Magic

It was a morning like any other for our three heroes, but they didn't know they were heroes yet. Heroism was about to be thrust on them like "whoa man, I didn't see that coming!"

In any case, it was only a matter of time before some whacko stuff happened to them. They lived in a time where anything was possible, except peach cobbler, a good recipe for it had been lost for a thousand years. Our heroes exist in a place called the Kingdom of Dave, rumours have it Dave was a legend. It is said after Dave ruled for fifty years and found a water fountain of youth, he peaced out and went to live on a really cool island. After that the kingdom was divided into several sections that different races reign over. Our heroes live in the region called Land of Sun, where most humans, human hybrids and talking animals reside.

On this morning, our heroes, Elle, Viola and Izzy had come across a cave and found a cat who could do magic tricks. He also had a paper horn strapped on his head; the girls wondered who would want to make their cat look like a unicorn, but they quickly became distracted by the cat's next trick that involved a lot of shiny things.

I should mention our heroes are thirteen and their heights ranging from 5"2 to 5"5. I could go on about their physical characteristics, but I find it more entertaining to describe their appearances as the story goes along. So just when you start to imagine what one of them looks like I'll throw in a detail that forces you to change how you see them.

The magician cat held out his paw and tiny geometric shapes appeared coming to life and started dancing.

"Woo we're sentient!" The shapes cried out.

"We should take him home with us so we can finally properly entertain party guests." Elle said tucking a piece of her light brown hair behind her ear.

"By party guests I hope you mean hot men who will agree to become our servants!" Viola grinned, her yellow eyes glinting.

"What other kind of guests would we invite?" Elle nodded.

"This cat is so cute I just want him to love me and I want to dress him up in lab coats and sweater vests because I've always wanted a smart cat!" Izzy cried pulling at her face, her chocolate chip coloured eyes widening.

Amidst all the fangirling over attractive party guests and smart cats, the girls hadn't noticed the owner of the cave.

"Hey! What are doing hanging out with my unicat!"

The girls whip their heads around to see a menacing creature with ears like an elf and two long teeth sticking out of his mouth.

"I hate to burst your very delusional bubble-" Viola starts but Elle puts her hand over her mouth.

"We'll leave your unicat alone, don't worry!" Elle laughs nervously, her pale complexion turning paler.

"Guys I think he's a vampire." Elle whispers to her friends.

"No I don't want to die here in this cave. I have so many other things to do with my life, like eat more pizza!" Izzy trembles.

"Ahem. I can totally hear everything you're saying and I'm not a vampire, I'm a troll thank you very much."

The girls sigh in relief.

"That makes sense, it looks like a grub lives here." Viola inspects the cave, pushing her dark brown curly hair to one side.

Victor gasps, "Well I was going to tell you guys how to become mermaids cause I thought you were cool and would want to know how to become cool mermaids. But I guess since you think I'm a grub…"

"Wait, wait! We don't really think you're a grub! Please tell us how to become mermaids!" Izzy pulls at her face longingly.

"I've been waiting for this day my whole life. I knew I was always meant to be more than a lame human that can only breathe on land! Look we got off on the uncool foot, what's your name?" Elle attempts to smooth things over with the grey troll.

"Victor." He crosses his arms.

"Victor, we're sorry for earlier."

"You mean two seconds ago?"

"Yes. Let's try this again, I'm Elle, and these are my friends Izzy and Viola. We think your cave is super streets ahead and you seem like a cool boho type of guy."

"I would never be some hippie, I like the government too much! But alright I'll tell you all how to become mermaids!" Victor scratches his head and flicks his swoop styled hair.

"Yes, I'm ready like mom's spaghetti!" Elle shouts.

"First I need you three to bring me back cotton candy flowers from candy field, it's the final ingredient I need for my mermaid serum."

"How do we get there?" Izzy says, goosebumps rising with excitement on her milk chocolate skin.

"Here's a map, it'll tell you everything you need to know. Now, go, go!" He pulls a map out of his black vest, passing it to Elle and then pushing them out of his cave.

Soon the girls found themselves standing in front of a forest.

"The maps says we first have to go through the forest of uncomfortable sounds." Elle puts the map away in her back pocket.

"So basically the sounds we make with each other every day." Viola flails her olive toned arms in the air.

"Herp a derp." Izzy agreed.

"Ga derg." Elle chimed in.

"Herrrg." Viola added.

Their random noise making continues for a few minutes.

"Okay, okay we should really go now." Elle says.

They enter the forest when they start to hear a low half-hearted whistle.

"It sounds like someone trying to whistle but they can't. That's not uncomfortable that's just sad." Elle pushes the bangs out of her eyes.

Soon the sound of someone gargling is added with the poor whistling.

"Okay that's a little uncomfortable to hear." Elle nods her head.

Then the sound of someone hocking a loogi joins the mix.

"Ugh that sounds like a seventy-year-old man when he wakes up at five am to have his fibre drink." Izzy cringes.

Then the sound of someone swallowing a lot of food loudly starts.

"If these sounds don't stop it's going to drive me normal! I'll no longer be the awesome crazy person I am!" Viola presses her hands to her ears.

"These noises must be eliminated." Elle says, producing a demonic voice on the word _eliminated_ to show how serious she is about her frustration with these sounds.

"I'll distract us with my soulful singing!" Izzy proclaims.

She clears her throat and fluffs her short black hair preparing to go super diva mode. One might say if her diva mode was quantifiable the number would be over 9000.

"There's all these awful sounds going on. I'm starting to think this mermaid thing is a con. But if there's a chance to go underwater and dance, we got to make it out of this forest by taking action with my distraction!" Izzy sings.

Izzy proceeds to do some runs, growls and other various singing techniques, and before they know it they come to the end of the forest.

"Thank MOM we're out of there!" Elle sighs contentedly.

"We wouldn't have survived if you hadn't sung for us Izzy." Viola says.

Izzy looks on the ground and notices a large bubble wand with her initial on it.

"Whoa this is hot beans!" Izzy picks it up.

"Come on, we've got to cross some bridge next!" Elle calls out to Izzy, as she runs ahead with Viola.

The girls stop in front of a bridge looking around for what their next challenge is, when they hear a high pitched disgruntled sound. They look down to see a small rabbit standing on its hind legs.

"Hello mere mortals, I am Mr. FuFu and I am the master of the bridge of riddles." The little rabbit shakes his paws in the air.

"Oh great, I have a feeling he's going to talk forever just to get us to solve the simplest question. Let's get this over with rabbit!" Viola crosses her arms.

"Silence! You must answer these questions three to pass by me!" He shouts.

"Alright hit us!" Elle responds.

"First question, what is black and white and red all over?"

"A newspaper, which don't even exist anymore. How old are your riddles?" Elle answered.

"Incorrect! Next riddle!" Mr. FuFu shouts.

"Hey, she answered that correctly!" Viola protests.

"Second riddle, what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?"

"A towel!" Izzy answers.

"Wrong! You're all really terrible at riddles." Mr. FuFu smirks.

"We gave the right answer, stop lying!" Viola huffs.

"Final question, a fast food restaurant sells chicken in orders of six, nine and twenty six. What is the largest number of pieces of chicken you cannot order from this restaurant?" Mr. FuFu asks.

"Chicken?! We don't have time to answer your ridiculous questions anymore, where is the chicken?" Viola demands.

"There is no chicken. You have to answer my riddles to cross!" Mr. FuFu pouts.

"No man, no we don't. You have no right to choose who gets to use this bridge based on answering riddles, and then claiming the answers are wrong when we answer them right! That's a flawed system that is not fair and makes you an unrighteous rabbit! I'm ending this dictatorship and I really want chicken now!" Viola charges and knocks down Mr. FuFu.

"Sorry little dude, Viola's like a machine when someone mentions chicken, like an unstoppable killing machine that thirsts for some delicious deep fried or barbecued chicken." Elle dusts him off.

"We'll bring you back a carrot on our way back." Izzy helps him stand up.

"Unhand me you fool! And I hate carrots, I prefer celery or snow peas." Mr. FuFu turns his back to them.

"Rude, come on Izzy we don't have time for stuck up rabbits." Elle leads Izzy across the bridge.

Elle and Izzy catch up to Viola, who is standing by a river that looks like it's full of garbage. Viola turns around holding a leg of deep fried chicken.

"Where did you get that?" Elle says confused.

"Found it. I also found this." Viola pulls out a marshmallow gun from her pocket, it also has her initial on it.

"Where?" Izzy asks.

"Mmm-mmm, I sort of black out when I'm on the hunt for chicken, or any food really. I'm always hungry." Viola shrugs.

"We just have to cross this river to get to the cotton candy field. The map says the river is called The Sea of Garbage, which doesn't make sense cause it's a river, a sea is much larger body of water, clearly this map isn't about accuracy." Elle says, mislabelled things irked her quite a bit.

"I'm so pumped! Garbage doesn't bother me! My spirit animal is a raccoon." Izzy dives into the river.

Elle and Viola are a little more hesitant, slowly lowering themselves into the garbage.

"I'm ruining my favourite romper, but it's going to be worth it! I'll finally be able to talk to dolphins, who are way cooler than everyone at school!" Elle picks off a banana peel.

"I can't wait to look enchanting and trick people into coming underwater to my lair of torture!" Viola's eyes get all big and sparkly.

"I just want all the sea creatures to love me!" Izzy pulls at her face, when suddenly the undertow catches her pulling her with the current.

"Ahhh! Help!"

"Quick, Viola grab that piece of cardboard those maggots have built a home on." Elle commands

"So gross! I don't think I can touch it!" Viola makes a face.

"That is the nastiest piece of cardboard I've ever seen. But girls help their girls even if it means subjecting yourself to gross stuff." Elle says flawlessly delivering that pep talk.

Viola finally grabs the piece of cardboard.

"Well excuse me, but we're trying to have dinner here!" The mother maggot says in a southern accent.

The father chimes in, also with a southern accent, "Chillin' go to your rooms, pappy's gonna get rid of this intruder."

The ten maggot children wiggle to another corner of the cardboard. The father maggot pulls out a tiny shotgun.

"Come on get outta here, shoo!" He yells.

Viola shakes them off the cardboard, "Sorry, you can make a new home on that rotten tomato!"

The maggots scream as they fall, but Viola didn't have time to see if they were okay, because sometimes you don't get to know how something turns out. Also, her friend was in peril doom.

"Hurry!" Izzy panics getting pulled further away.

"Hold on!" Viola passes the cardboard to Elle.

Elle makes a lasso out of spaghetti and pulls Izzy in, and then, she passes the cardboard to Izzy to hold onto. The girls finally reach the other side and pull themselves onto the grass.

They sit there panting for a moment. Elle sees a bow and arrow in front of her. She picks it up and sees her initial on the bow. She looks at the field of cotton candy flowers and she gets up walking towards the field. She reaches the flowers, stares at them, flops down and she rolls around in the flowers.

Elle sings, "We're going to be mermaids, no more being peasants of the land world! Boo being human!"

Viola and Izzy join her.

"YESSS!" Viola yells in a deep voice.

Izzy stands up, "Let's pick these fluffy bad boys!"

The girls gather as many of the flowers as they can and head back to Victor's cave.

They enter his cave to find him painting his cat's paper horn a metallic blue.

"What do you think of Maxi's new horn colour?" Victor sets his brush down.

"Fierce" Elle snaps.

The girls set the flowers down.

"We got the cotton candy flowers, it's time to turn us into fab mermaids." Viola demands.

Victor takes a few petals off a flower and puts them into the jar that has his potion.

"Now I can become a mermaid and Alex will finally fall in love with me!" Victor cackles.

"Wait, what?!" The girls yell.

"Who's Alex?" Elle says.

"My soulmate, Alex just doesn't know it yet. I forgot to mention I didn't actually want to share my potion with any of you."

"Hey! We didn't go to all this trouble just for you to use the potion on yourself." Viola protests.

"Well that's why you never promise to do something just for personal gain. Teaching you kids some manners." Victor goes to drink the potion when he notices the three new items in their hands.

"Where did you get those things?" He points to the weapons in their hands.

"Oh these? They sort of just appeared after each time one of us did something heroic." Elle holds up her bow.

"That is a sign from MOM, you've been given the gift, or well job, of Majestic Guardians for The Kingdom of Dave." Victor explains.

"Since we're like champions now don't you think we deserve some mermaid potion?" Elle raises an eyebrow.

"Oh fine!" Victor hands the jar to Elle.

The girls each take a drink and Victor comments, "I needed to test the potion to see if it works anyways."

"What?!" They scream.

An hour later the potion works and the girls are flapping their tails around in a river. Victor and Maxi sunbathe on a rock. A few minutes later though the potion wears off.

"Nooo! What is this madness?" Viola cries.

"This is a pizza burn on the roof of your mouth bad!" Izzy frowns.

"Tis better to have been mermaids temporarily, then to have never been one at all." Elle says bittersweet.

The girls have a moment of silence for the return of their legs.

"Besides, apparently now we're going to be heroes!" Elle says and Viola and Izzy cheer in excitement.


	2. Chapter 2: Pink Cupcakes

"Oh my god Brittney, what are we going to eat for lunch today?" Tiffany asks in her vapid air head voice.

"Well, we only eat pink things, so obvi we're going to have the raspberries and whipped cream cause together they make pink." Brittany deduces in the same superficial tone.

"Yayy." The six other almost identical blonde girls agree, aside from Tiffany who was a brunette.

"Okay, now go get it for me, my feet are freakin sore from walking outside my house to my limo this morning." Brittany demands.

The other girls get up and single file retrieve the fruit and whipped cream.

Elle, Izzy, and Viola roll their eyes at them from the next table over.

If you're going to have an army of fools, you should use them for more than getting fruit! I would get them to burn the school down so we wouldn't have to do homework ever again!" Viola rages.

Announcement bells chime and their principal's voice comes on, "Good morning students, I hope everything feels like tops of palm trees and sunshine. Just wanted to let you all know a school lockdown will be happening shortly because a bearded flying squid has broken in. Humdulapur out!"

The students sit there letting this information sink in.

"Should-should we start freaking out?" Elle asks Viola and Izzy.

"I'm not sure…he made it sound bad, so I guess so." Izzy shrugs.

"But what he just described sounds so flippin awesome!" Elle stands up on the cafeteria table.

"Attention students, we must move to the gymnasium for proper lockdown procedure." Ms. Daffodil ushers the teens out of the cafeteria.

Ms. Daffodil is literally a talking daffodil and ironically her parents gave her the first name of another flower: Chrysanthemum. She prefers to go by Chrys.

The students sat down in the gym with their own cliques and of course, Brittany and her clan sit next to our heroes.

"Girls, look who's taking up our air." Brittany scowls at them.

"Well I am fire so I do love sucking up all the oxygen." Viola stares them down.

"Oh MOM! Be careful Brittany, she seems like she's serious!" Amy, one of the blondes shivers with fear.

"She's lying they're just awful girls that eat purple cupcakes and purple sprinkles!" Tiffany looks down on Viola.

"I'm sorry, how is what you said an insult?" Elle asks her.

The group of vapid girls giggle at our heroes like they should know why they've been insulted.

"We are the Cupcake Beta Mega Pink Cupcakes Sorority." Brittany says.

"We're in high school, how are you in a sorority?" Elle protests.

"Shh! We are in the coolest sorority therefore, we decide what sucks and what doesn't. Pink cupcakes are life, so like purple sprinkles are ew, blue is close to purple so it's ew too. You three are totally purple sprinkles!" Brittany poorly explains.

"Good! We like to eat all the purple cupcakes!" Izzy shouts.

The girls gasp, horrified by Izzy's remark.

"Other people can't seriously believe what you think Brittany." Elle shakes her head.

"Chad!" Brittany yells at a blonde boy with a shark fin haircut and wearing a muscle tank.

"Yeah?" He answers in an 80's surfer voice.

"What do you think about purple cupcakes and sprinkles?" Brittany asks.

"Ughhh, they are so ew." He responds.

"Okay, well he's a bad example, he's clearly one of your friends." Elle complains.

"Chad, ask your nerd girlfriend who I hate." Brittany nods.

Chad turns to his girlfriend who is in a sweater vest, wearing glasses, baggy pants and she has her mousy brown hair in a ponytail.

"Babe, what do you think of purple sprinkles?"

"They are absolutely disgusting." She answers.

"Well, I'll be, high school is the one place where everyone agrees with the opinion of an entitled teenage girl." Elle concedes.

"You said a bunch of words at once, did you say something good or bad about Brittney?" One of the blondes asks.

"She thinks we're wrong, but one day you'll see Elle, bill my words." Brittney promises.

"You mean mark." Elle corrects her.

"Mark, Bill, Steve who cares? Maybe you three just don't get why purple cupcakes are ew because you're orphans!" Brittney shouts.

"That's it! She's going down!" Viola lunges at Brittney, as a loud banging comes from the gym doors.

The flying bearded squid comes bursting through and starts to chase students, except for the ones that have facial hair, which are only two students: Mack and Quentin. Although there are other students with facial hair at this school, they were absent from school today.

These two students are both werewolves, hence the hairiness and the squid assumed they were like him because of the beards. One student Roy, was the palest and least hairy, avoided the squid by using his elf magic.

"Hey Elle, Mack said you have a stupid haircut, you should go fight him." Roy appears beside her.

"What?! How dare you Mack!" Elle shouts.

"Wait, I know what you're doing, you always try to instigate fights between us! I don't have time for that today, we have to get rid of a flying squid in case you haven't noticed!"

"I know, I'm getting you to channel your anger so you defeat the squid." Roy slinks away and disappears again.

"I don't need rage to win! Cause we got our majestic hero weapons!" Elle says, as her, Viola and Izzy pull their weapons out of their backpacks.

"Quick question, do we know what these do yet?" Izzy looks her bubble wand up and down.

"Well I hope they do more than just make bubbles, shoot marshmallows, and Elle's is the only obvious useful weapon." Viola looks uncertainly at her marshmallow gun.

"Ouuu there's an ultrafast speed setting on mine! It's hyper just like me!" Izzy runs off pummeling the squid.

"Yes, I found a fire button on mine, prepare for flaming s'mores you bearded fool!" Viola goes off shooting.

"Okay, I'll see if my weapon does anything cool too…" Elle panics that her bow and arrows are boring.

"My bubbles have a slime agent too!" Izzy cries.

"My s'mores are giant and can burn through everything!" Viola says in a happy demonic voice.

"I got the lame weapon didn't I?" Elle sighs to herself.

"Mack says he bets you can't use the bow and arrows cause you're a wuss." Roy appears beside her again.

"Stop instigating!"

"I'm not this time, ask Mack, he actually said that to me."

"Did you call me a wuss?" Elle shouts at Mack.

"Yes, because you are one. I'll use your bow and arrow better than you!" Mack sasses back.

"Oh ho ho ho, that's it I'll show you up so bad your ugly beard falls off!" Elle charges towards the squid.

"Hey! Leave my beard out of this!" Mack pouts.

Elle tries pulling back an arrow but her hand is shaking and her heart is racing feeling like it could pop out of her chest. _Why was it so easy for Izzy and Viola to use their weapons?_ Elle thought. _They didn't even think about it. Wait, that's it, I need stop analyzing mine so much and just let it do its thing!_ Elle takes a deep breath in and out feeling her heart beat start to slow down. "I'm glad I know how to calm down fast, it's not easy for everyone and it's important to voice your fears to someone who cares about you, no matter how irrational you might think they are." Elle poignantly notes.

Elle pulls an arrow back and this time finds it surprisingly easy to aim. The arrow pierces one of the squid's legs cutting it clean off. The arrow evaporates and appears back in Elle's archery bag.

"Yes, I have magic arrows, I shouldn't have assumed my weapon would suck! Assuming is the root of all self-destruction!" Elle cries.

"Ew your bow and arrows are blue. I can't be in the same room with a colour so close to purple. Girls show me something pink." Brittney pretends to almost faint.

Tiffany runs over to some ginger guy and steals his pink cupcake, rushing back to Brittney.

"Hey!" The ginger shouts.

"Brittney needs this more than you do Zeke!" Tiffany fans Brittney with the dessert.

"Is that pink sprinkles I see? I was so close to death, my pink life flashing before my eyes." One of the blondes cradle Brittney in her arms.

A flaming s'more comes whipping past the girls making them jump and Brittney falls back.

"Yup, yup, yup." Viola says in an old man farmer voice, and then she directs her attention back to the squid.

"This guy!" Izzy puts her hand out like a claw facing up in frustration.

"Izzy can you make a giant bubble and catch him?" Elle shoots the squid in the chest knocking him down.

"Let's see." Izzy looks at the buttons on her wand, "Aha! Capture bubble!" Izzy presses the button and an enormous bubble traps the squid.

"Now for my flame thrower." Viola's marshmallow gun shoots out a large flame burning the squid to a crisp.

All the students cheer for our heroes, except for Brittney and her clan.

"Sometimes people you don't like do something that benefits you. So, I indirectly thank you." Brittney fluffs her high ponytail nonchalantly.

"We'll always protect innocent people. Your bananas level crazy and Tiffany and the blonde gang are a barrel of annoying, but you're still innocent." Elle nods and our heroes go to walk away triumphant and look super bad-ass when Ms. Daffodil stops them.

"Thank you girls for stopping that bearded scoundrel. Here, take some of my pollen, people say it's good luck." Ms. Daffodil hands them each a ball of her pollen.

"Oh you really don't have to do this. Really." Izzy looks uncomfortably at the pollen in her hand.

"Nonsense!" Ms. Daffodil smiles and walks away.

"So she basically gave us some of her skin." Viola stares at the pollen.

"True, but it's our first token of appreciation so we should keep it." Elle tucks the pollen away.

Mack and Quentin step in front of them next.

"Well, you barely saved us Elle!" Mack crosses his arms.

"I was very tempted to shave your beard off and let the squid eat you." Elle says stoned face.

"Hey, do you guys mind if I take the squid? I can cook him up, make some nice barbecue pieces out of him." Quentin pulls an apron out of his backpack.

"He's burnt to a crisp you bean, how can you make him taste good?" Izzy hits Quentin on the back.

"I can still make it work!" Quentin rubs his hands together and hauls the squid away.

Roy appears once more, standing beside Mack.

"So can you two fools get out of our way, we're trying to do heroes' walk of glory." Viola scowls.

"I don't see a blazing sunset behind you." Roy mocks.

"Oh? Let me create one!" Viola pulls out her gun.

Principal Humdulapur comes bursting through the gym, his bird wings flapping furiously and his glasses almost falling off his face.

"Children, I'm so glad you're all okay!" Humdulapur lands.

"When your principal is a large purple owl you think he would have taken on the squid himself." Elle whispers to her friends.

"You're just jealous of his glorious mustache." Mack butts in.

"No, you are." Elle smirks.

"You're right." Mack sighs.

"To celebrate Elle, Izzy and Viola's bravery, we shall have a dance in their honour." Humdulapur announces.

A disco ball comes down, the lights dim and confetti comes raining down as music starts to play.

"Everybody come shake your booty with me!" Izzy pulls the crowd into a dance circle.

"So I guess now you see I was helping you by getting you to channel your rage." Roy arrogantly looks at his nails.

"No, actually, I realized that I was overthinking everything and that I was getting in my own way, and only once I challenged my assumptions, was I able to defeat the squid." Elle refutes.

"Oh well, I mean the rage helped a little though right?" Roy says sheepishly.

"Like two percent." Elle is the one to slink away this time.

"Squid's ready! I gave him a nice maple glaze and added a touch of lemon." Quentin reveals a tray of bite sized squid pieces.

Everyone swarms him for a piece.

"Please feed us every day." Elle stuffs her face.

"This tastes like victory!" Viola exclaims.


End file.
